Alternative Medicine and Flying Round the World

I am sitting here at 2am writing a blog because I have discovered something I need to share with the world. Alternative medicine and dietary supplements don't bloody work. I have taken two Tranquil Night tablets courtesy of Blackmores and guess what, I am sitting here writing a blog at 2am. Something getting through here. If these things actually worked then I would be snoring by now and you would be wondering why this blog had ended so suddenly. So don't waste $17 on this crap, either get some of the good stuff from your doctor, or learn to count sheep.

I have been subjected to an orgy of flying lately and the novelty has well and truly worn off. yes I know I wanted to fly international for so long and wasn't allowed to but hey sue me. Its not only women who can change their minds, I have now decided that although I hate the flying bit, the extra cash is still adequate compensation as long as I go for more than a week. So yes I am now a travel prostitute, but you know I can live with it.

MoFo and Blackberries.

Ok so what is it about Blackberry's that means everybody wants one but everyone who has one swears that they run their lives and they would give it up like a shot if they were allowed to. This is what is known in the trade as a "lie". In my work, everyone above the rank of Commander has a blackberry, as do a lot of the contractors. All say they would give them up but when push comes to shove they all go ape shit over the prospect of losing it. I currently have one until the end of the year when I will be replaced by a real Commander. He can have my Blackberry (as long as he can prise it from my cold dead hands) - bring it on MoFo.

At last the Mad Scientist has seen fit to grant me a foreign trip over to Washington. Finally after 5 refusals I get to go for a couple of weeks. Of course he only gave permission a week before we actually fly so I am now running around like a blue-arsed fly trying to get the hotels and plane tickets all booked. Still I love it and woe betide anyone who tries to come between me and my $2000 worth of allowances - bring it on MoFos.

Finally it seems my house mate is now not coming. My wife is secretly very pleased and all of the women I know (both of them) have given me those knowing looks that say - married guy living with single female - you were going to bone her, you guys just can't help it. Well I won't be now will I - MoFo.

Diet Bikes and Monotony

I started the CSIRO diet about 5 weeks ago and although I don't stick rigidly to its recommended intake, I do far more exercise. I think they must be affiliated to the meat industry judging by the amount of meat I am supposed to eat. I suppose the C in CSIRO must stand for Carnivore. All in all I have lost about 5Kg although you could hardly tell. I do feel better though. Having said that, all of my so called friends seem to delight in telling me how little it looks like I have lost and seem incredulous that a little fatty like me would really attempt to lose weight. My wife also keeps telling me not to overdo it as it seems being healthy and at the right weight can be downright unhealthy. Its not like I am Nicole Ritchie for gods sake.

Most of my exercise is done on my bike which has surprisingly become a most enjoyable part of my life. I have been cycling along the roads and trackways of Adelaide at all times of day and night. I have to say I have not felt in any danger on the roads but a night ride along the river paths with no street lights gave me the willys. I nearly went in the river on a number of occasions.
Still it does give me a lot of satisfaction and I am no longer overtaken by 6 year old with trainer wheels. When I was home in WA I cycled to the nearest town but oh my god that was so dull it was painful. One up for Adelaide I suppose.

All said and done though life in Adelaide and the project I am working on is starting to become very dull. I joined this project to get foreign travel, work for a specific person and be part of the biggest (and so most prestigious) project in the RAN, but have not been anywhere abroad since November and I am one of the most traveled. My boss then told me he was leaving the job early and also my extra pay for working a rank higher would stop in January. Another foreign visit has just been cancelled, making it 4 in a row. Talk about fate - This is like all signs pointing to an even bigger sign which says "Go home stupid". I think I will return to WA in the new year to get another job and see my family every day. Luckily I am getting a house mate in July, that may brighten up the situation and keep me sane until the end of the year.

Don't be like me, loyalty being the only thing keeping me here. Most of the time loyalty only goes one way.

Footy

I took an American friend to the footy on Sunday. This was great fun as neither of us supported either team who was playing. This gave us complete freedom to enjoy the game and slag off both sides. We had seats right behind the goal which did introduce a certain sense of danger to the proceedings. The practise session was the most dangerous and the nets were up to prevent he balls from hitting too many people. The look on my friends face when they took the nets down for the actual match was priceless. The look on his face when he looked up and a player was taking a bead on his seat was even funnier, fortunately the ball sailed over his head and back at least 4 more rows.

I have been away on USS LASSEN for the past 6 days. This is the alternative design to the Alvaro de Bazaan F100 described earlier. If the Spanish are like the ancient Athenians with good food and good living in comfortable surroundings, the USN are the Spartans, all warlike and hard living. I would prefer to live in the Spanish ship and fight in the US one. Why is life so full of difficult choices? I would like to thank the CO and crew of USS LASSEN for an amazing visit and incredible hospitality and it was a priveledge being at sea with these dedicated individuals.

Spanish Fly

I have just spent 4 days on a Spanish Naval Vessel called the Alvaro de Bazan. This is one of the contenders for the new Air Warfare Destroyers that the RAN is developing. From the start the officers and men onboard were extremely helpful and pleasant. It is 140 years since the last Spanish Armada ship came to Australia so it was quite a privilege to be invited onboard. Lets face it, Haley's comet is more frequent.

Alvaro de Bazan was an Admiral in the 1500s. I couldn't help asking how the old Admiral died when I heard he died in 1588. I was assured that England didn't win the battle, it was the weather that defeated the Armada.
Dream on guys.

Notwithstanding that, what is it with Spanish food? Have they never heard of butter? Oil is at best a poor salad dressing, it certainly is not something that goes well on dry bread. And why do they put a tons of salt of their fish, I understand 140 years ago before the refrigerator, but now? come on.

One thing I learned on this trip is that the Chinese people are not good sea-keepers. In spite of the calmest seas the South Australian Bight has ever seen, our Chinese passenger was sick as a pig. Oh well, perhaps that is one less threat to Australia.

Finally I learned this week just how wrong the weather man can be. On return to work, everyone asked me how sick I was in the storm in the bight? What storm? I mean, if they can get it that wrong, how can you trust 'sunny skies at the weekend'. I will continue with looking out the window, it is the best forecasting method I know.

A surprisingly busy week

I started this week with very little expectation that I would have anything to write about, but sometimes surprising things happen.
The first thing to happen on Friday was a spontaneous outburst of morale at work. It all started with a simple e-mail regarding missing cutlery from the canteen and with the power of e-mail rapidly transfigured into an hilarious outpouring of frustration at the way the project is going. I am sure a lot of people have experienced the power of e-mail to maintain a theme and this entertained me for the whole day.

The next surprise was the England victory over Australia which gave me bragging rights at work, far in excess of what was justified. There are few better things in life than being able to stuff it to pompose Ozzies regarding their great god 'Cricket'. When it isn't even justified it just makes it all the sweeter. I have managed to bring them all round to the idea that you are only as good as your last match, so England's victory makes them currently the best team. Priceless.

Lastly I had my first intercontinental dinner at home when I invited two Colonial Americans to join two other Colonial Ozzies, all eating a delicious Indian meal prepared by their Colonial Master. The drink flowed and I woke up this morning with a head like the soldier ants from Apocalypto, your know the ones, those in the kid's cut. I think I may have overdosed on Aspirin in a vain attempt to create an illusion of normality. Please God - no more surprises today.

Last sane day

What is it about last days that make them so anti-climactic. On my last day at home before I return to Adelaide and not see my family for 4 months and all I could do was sit at the computer and write down my thoughts onto my blog. That and go shopping for groceries and packing my bags. I did make fairy cakes for the kids, so I suppose it wasn't totally wasted.
Flying back brought my total points for Qantas to only needing 6 more flights to go Platinum. Not bad as I have only been flying for 2 months this year and none last year. I actually hate flying and particularly hate crashing. I hate it so much I try never to do it, especially the crashing. So far I have restricted the crashing parts to the automobile and I am quite succesful if I say so myself.

Work is pretty manic at the moment with two competing bids to be analysed before the Govt commits itself to spending $6B in taxpayers money. I would have more faith in the abilities of some if our HR manager had not just written to failing candidates for a post hoping that they didn't suffer any incontinence instead of inconvenience.

I did get a flat mate which should be nice for the next few months. He is into wine and golf, two things about which I know absolutely nothing except I have no interest in either. Give me a bottle of Sprite over a nice Red anyday, chilled to room temperature and way beyond of course.